The real world interrupts my bliss zone.

I went for a long walk around Umbertide today during the quiet hours (1-4pm).  As I walked east (?) far past the RR station and a few roads north of Garibaldi I found what looked like a mall.  A mall in Italy?  I was going to keep walking, but the next thing I knew I was crossing the street.

There is a big food store in the called coop.  I have seen the name on reusable colorful shopping bags on market day but the locals.  There was a perfume shop with lots of pretty stuff in the window.  I love to look.

I saw on the shelf a cologne Billy (I was married to him for 23 yrs, divorced last year) used to wear and hasn't been able to find in the states.  I wanted to buy him a gift as he helped pitch in some money for the trip, so I go to the counter.  She wraps it in beautiful red paper with a metallic grey bow.

Them LIFE crashes in around me...the credit card is refused.  I ask her to try again and smile.
Refused again.  I want to crawl away.  Thankfully I have enough money to cover it.  Boy, did she looked relieved.

As I start my long walk home, my old life, the stress, the anger was back in full force.  I had not missed them at all, at all.

I start dictated a scathing letter in my mind, it is good, very good.  I also want to close our acct with this credit card company when I get home and I want them to pay for the cell phone call I am going to have to make to them...on and on it went.  My neck started to ache, then the rotator cuff shoulder.  I am walking with my pretty little pink bag in my right hand while with my left arm I am grabbing the muscle that is spasming on the left side of my neck.

Whoa wait a minute, I am in Italy dammit.   I walk a bit slower, take some cleansing breaths and try to see this more clearly.  First of all, this is what is happening.  To fight it only makes it hurt more.  This, i know.

I realize that I am glad it happened now rather than in 3 days in Rome trying to check into the hotel that is already overcharging me.

So I call the cc company's toll free number on the back of the card, it doens't work from Italy. I find the the international number on their website and call.    After giving them my address, the password, the last 4 digits of "the primary card holder's" ss number,  I give them my blood type, my religious affiliation(I make one up, confusedism) , the date of my last known menstrual cycle (May of 2004 is as close as I can get, they can call my gyn doc if needed), height in millimeters, the name of the planet that was rising when I was born and my weight in stone.  Where is the retinal scan?

I tell the nice-sounding guy that I am on a cell phone from Italy.  He has to put me on hold (it is a LAW now in the U.S.  it is the part of the Patriot Act no one ever talks about, not even Fox News.)

He comes back on the line just as I am getting close to figuring the euro and dollar price of this call and how to demand (in that brilliant letter I am going to write when I get home) that they reimburse me for this call.

He asks me if the "Primary Card Holder (PCH) is with me," I feel like asking him when was I demoted to 2nd class citizenship. (I decline to tell him about my new doll friend from U.N.I.C.E.F, Belli, he might not understand or be as liberal as I am)

I tell Mr. Customer Service that his Holiness the PCH is home in VT. (I don't really say the HOLINESS part, but I wanted to with such a passion!!)

I remind this guy that I contacted the security dept 3 weeks before my departure, plus spoke to them 3 months before my trip and was told by a nice lady from THEIR security dept that it was noted on our account that I would be in Italy for the month of September.  (Liars, liars, everywhere...even in the security dept!)

He tells me the PCH needs to call the company.

I tell this guy that my PCH drives a truck and can't use his cell while moving (true).  He repeats his last line as though he were a stepford wife.

I tell him that this is ridiculous and that I already did everything that was required of me.  As he stutters for what to say, I realize I have no clue how much time I have left on the cell phone, so I hang up.

I call home and luckily my son is home.  He is leaving for work in a few minutes and there is no cell service there (common in VT) he'll call me right back.  He calls, his dad didn't pick up the call yet.  Yadda yadda yadda.

I get an email 3 hrs later that Billy talked to some guy named Jeff at the cc company and now I am supposed to call the international number again and this time ask to talk to JEFF.

The is REAL folks.

So I call. (Another 5 or 6 euro for the call, that is what, $8...)

Of course the lady has no idea who Jeff is and there is no note on our acct.  That's a BINGO.

I am transferred twice and finally get the security department.  I am not making this up, but the lady sounds as though her mouth is full of cotton,  half numb, and she drools slightly when she talks.

Seriously, I am thinking to myself, 'only me".

She mumbles something about not knowing who Jeff is, but she'll try to help me.  I am hoping she is not too doped up with oxycodone, because I need her help.

She has to ask me the questions again, ss#, my ex-mother-in-law's last name,  my shoe size width (E, for those keeping track) and who was president when I started the 3rd grade.

I pass.

She quizzes me in that slightly slurring speech, "wwha poorchesesss didya maaayke recenleey?"
I tell her I ordered 2 books from Amazon yesterday and I bought some kitchen towels at a fabric shop in Umbertide.  Big purchases totally about $100 in all,  the only usage since I have been in Italy. I can see why it triggered security.  (dripping with sarcasm)

She tells me she has taken off the block.
Maybe... or she flagged the acct for legal action. (How can she see the screen clearly with those drugs in her system and the greasy fingerprints on her screen from the potato chips she eats all the time with her diet pepsi?)

She also adds that if it happens again (she means WHEN is happens again, right?) to have the PCH call them and then I have to call them again.  That was reassuring.

For real?  We've had this card for 8 years and our credit is excellent.  They have always supported me using it in the past.   I am an American, I have EVERY right to increase my debt to income ratio. (that is in the Patriot Act too, crafty devil details) .

So I hang up and think, will she even remember I called?  What if she passes out at work from sipping on that rum and pepsi?  Oxycodone and alcohol don't mix, but she was thinking, "It's Friday and that bastard wouldn't let me take a personal day for a root canal?  Yeah my weekend is starting now."

Oh well, I'll find out Monday at the hotel in Roma.  Oh that will fun, I have been emailing them about reducing my rate the 10 euros a night and then my credit card gets refused.  Momma mia, that would be a great way to begin my Roma adventure.

Oh and when I tried to access my credit card acct online, it blocked me out.
What are the chances Jeff had something to do with is...or the intoxicated cotton-mouthed lady?