Post-nap Roma

I woke up from my 4 hour nap in a much better place.

I washed up, grabbed the map and went walking.

I visited the Piazza de Popolo.  That's when I realized I was in Roma, the Roma that I was thinking about with old buildings.

I took some photos and continued to walk.  I had trouble finding the Augustus Mosoleum because it is under contraction, I could even get close to it.

I tried to find a way to give myself a point of reference, so I walked along the Tiber.

It was getting dark out and the sky was starting to turn a beautiful pink/purple color.

It took my a while to find Piazza Navona, but it was worth it.  It was very crowded, I had been walking for almost 3 hours and I was really hungry.

I wasn't looking for a restaurant, (too expensive) but not eating flour/gluten makes it hard in Italia.

I found a small corner shop, I asked the nice man for gluten free, he showed me that had potatoes, string beans, (old-looking)pork, spinach.  I asked for the potatoes and string beans.  I grabbed a bottle of water.  They put some oil on the food and a little salt.

It was only 5 euro. I stood outside and leaned on a stool. It was delicious.  

I stood in awe of the fountain in the Piazza Navona. I am sorry I can't remember the name right now.

I was feeling more like me and realizing how wonderful Roma really is.

The roads here are not like Manhattan, which being on a grid, makes it easy. 

I had to ask a few times hoe to get back to Via Corso, as my street Via dell Vite, is off of that one.

I was getting closer when I saw a gigantic column, it took my breath away.  It was hard to take a photo, but I tried.

At last I found my via, and then heard loud rock music.  As I have been doing on the month in Italy, I followed my curiosity.  A half block away is a 5 member band playing rock, LOUD.

I spent the next 2 hours listening (with some mild dancing) with lots of other people.  They played a lot of Queen and referred to Freddie Mercury a lot, but they were very entertaining.  When they had said good night, I started to walk way, and they broke out playing "We are the Champion"  oh that was FUN, we all sang along, we all sang part of it when he put the microphone up in the air for us to sing.  

It was a great first night in Roma.

I guess my earlier entry wasn't very good, but I forget what lack of sleep can do to me.

I feel much better now, I have a sense of direction.  I want to go to the coliseum tomorrow morning.

I have decided not to run tomorrow. I need to be more careful with myself.  I love the running, but my feet aren't in great shape and I have a lot of walking to do while I am here.

I fee sad about that, but I also know that when I fight with was is TRUE, I make it worse.

It is n't the worst thing in the world.  There are plenty of people with illness that are worse.

I am trying to find how to have a healthy relationship with illness.  I am not there yet, but I know it has something to do with love and patience.

I figured out how to put the air-conditioning on in here, so I don't have to keep the windows wide open.  I feel much better being cooler.

Heat and humidity are not my friends and they also tend to flare up circulation problems.

Another good thing, the mattress is very comfortable here at the hotel.  

Ihave not watched TV in 3 weeks (at home all I have is PBS) and I am watching "Larry Crowne" with Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts dubbed badly in Italian.

COme on now, Julia Roberts is supposed to be an heavy drinking depressed woman in this?  Her hair and make up is perfect and and she dressed as though she shops in Roma rather than JC Penny.  GIve me a break, why do they always have to make women in film perfect looking.

Anyway, I am glad that I am here.  It is very different than Umbertide and I am back in the 'real' world it seems.   

Walking around this city on my own, I find that I am moving more freely, not as inhibited.  I like that women dress in many different styles here.  I started in Umbertide, wearing a scarf (I tie it in the back, so it falls down my back)  that is my way.

I didn't want to compete with anyone, just trying to find what I am comfortable with.

I usually don't wear make up as I wear glasses, but I thinking maybe I would like to wear some eye liner.  That sounds so funny to write out, but it is much than just make up, it is ME taking chances with me, shaking things up a bit.

It has to do with those little inner rooms Ihat I've opened.  There is a sense of 'not knowing' and wanting to experiment.  I have 6 years of a college education (M.A.) and I've raised my children for 18 years, but there are private things, things about being a woman, about being the kind of woman I NATURALLY am, that  I don't know.

There is much more to me than I ever thought and I can't explain what it is, because I don't know.  It's as though I feel the pressure of something erupting, but I haven't seem what is coming out of the ground yet.  I am not scared of it or worried, because I now it is natural and it is me.

I am not rushing it or pushing, I am taking it as it comes.  I have no idea what I will wear tomorrow or how I will wear it.  I am less worried about what people think of me, what I think of me.

I have a lot inside me…

 dreams, energy, laughter, dance, and sensuality, I don't know why I use that word, but it fits.  There is a deeper sense to all the senses.  I am less concerned about it, less ashamed of having it, less worried that it is wrong.  

This is who I am, when I drop all the "shoulds"  "shouldn'ts" "wrongs" "rights".  When I  let myself go beyond where I let myself go before.  

I am not a prisoner of little rooms anymore.  I am out in the real world.  In Roma.  it seems like a good place to begin.

Wish me well.