I am excited about Rome, I am afraid I'll fall asleep one hour before I have to get up.
I had a lovely day, easy peasy after the morning run.
I spent a nice chunk of the day in the cafe. I still haven't finished the book, but I'll read onthe bus tomorrow. I did a lot of writing, interesting stuff.
Oh and I got hit on by an old Italian guy. At first I thought he was being nice ( I always think that!) then he touched my hand with his hand. I told him I don't understand Italian.
He moved away.
Good.
Then he came back and asked something again ("let's have sex you hussy american woman?") and put his hand on my arm. I said 'no' and stood up and walked away. As I am leaving I say good bye in Italian.
I've got to learn how NOT to be well mannered ALL the time. This 'be nice' to everyone thing has got to be updated.
I went for a walk down on the Tiber river for an hour.
I was fine, I know the older men around here are more lecherous than the younger, probably a generational thing. Who knows.
I finished packing, ate some excellent left over chicken, grapes, then that goat ricotta cheese with melon. Mmm mmm.
I thought I would be more sad to leave, but I feel ready. I've gotten what I came for, (what that is cannot be put into words) and now it is time to go.
Heading off to Roma is a great place to leave to, too, by the way.
Wow, I am heading out into the world in 5 hours. Glad I set the all 3 cell phones alarms.
I am not tired.
I went for my last night time stroll around town at 10pm. I said good-night to La Rocca, the octagon church, the lavender plants, the cafe, the park...
and ended with "good night moon"
I even said out loud, "La bella luna".
So much happened, was done, on so many levels. I am aware of some of it but there were major shifts that I am just beginning to process. I'm letting it be what it is.
I have not reread the pages AND PAGES of stuff I wrote. It's okay, VT winter in coming soon.
My vacation starts tomorrow, I can feel the difference. Being in Umbertide was a, what can I call it, a mythical journey of discovery and trust. A listening to 'that still small voice that knows my name' and I took chances, faced fears, showed up, looked at myself honestly, cried, danced, ran, took the train to new cities, sat on the hill in Perugia, walked the roads less traveled, and 'that made all the difference'. (Ah, Frost)
I did it all. It still feels surreal, but I've lived it.
It's sort of like how I felt when I was done with college, I was full of information and ideas, but I wanted to go out into the world.
That is how I feel about leaving Umbertide, I came here lost. frightened, exhausted, unsure, blind, depleted, deaf, but willing.
I leave having opened those tiny doors that I've been hiding in.
I leave knowing I showed up for me, I was a heroine.
I've opened to life and life opened to me.
Earlier this evening I sat on the edge of the church, indian style, looking at La Rocca with it's pretty lights. I thought of the movie "It's a Wonderful Life" near the end when he realizes that everything that drove him crazy about life, ended up being the things he most loved. The forgetful uncle, the bothersome kids, the unappreciated job, the mean Mr.Potter, that drafty house and that darn thingamajig on the stair case.
I understand that feeling. It is the things that I complain about, stress over, worry about, yell about, that really matter to me. Not having them, as I have for 3 weeks, made me realize how lucky I am to have people in my life, to be more healthy than sick, to have the deck on the house falling apart, to have people who love me, to have people to love, to realize what a wonderful life I have.
I may not be "The richest man in town" but I am "The luckiest person in Italy"
Next stop: ROMA
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